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Political Jokes Topped In Florida - Politician Humor

Political Jokes Topped in Florida

 

The good humorist Will Rogers had the appropriate outlook on politics: "There is nothing unsuitable with a political joke so long as he does not get elected."

 

He stated, "Politics has acquired so expensive that it takes a lot of money to even get beat with."

 

Humor has at all times been a part of American politics. Maybe it is a legacy of our Revolution -- to keep our leaders from taking themselves too seriously.

 

The current presidential campaign is somewhat grim. A litany of intelligent putdowns by late-night time comedians. Nothing memorable - as this is written one week from showdown.

 

That is slim pickings for the most costly marketing campaign in U.S. history. Either side has a bevy of joke smiths on the payroll, but they appear to undergo from writer's block. We're nonetheless ready for humor to match the free-wheeling days of yore.

 

The one good one-liner within the last presidential election - one that hit the wall and caught -- was tossed off by George W. Bush. He responded to Al Gore's first-debate recitation of tax statistics: "Mr. Gore claims to have invented the Internet. Now it is the calculator."

 

Fortuitously now we have some selection sallies from earlier campaigns to tickle our humorous bones.

 

Truman-Dewey

 

President Truman crisscrossed the nation by train together with his 1948 "Do nothing Congress" whistle-stop campaign. It grew to become routine for someone within the crowd to shout, "Give 'em Hell Harry!"

 

To which he would reply to thunderous laughter, "I never give them Hell. I just inform the truth, and so they suppose it is Hell."

 

Republican Candidate Thomas E. Dewey denounced the Truman routine as a arrange, nevertheless it did no good. A barrage of partisan taunts destroyed Dewey in a race that pollsters predicted he would win.

 

John Gunther, a member of former President Franklin D. Roosevelt's "Brain Trust," declared: "Tom Dewey is the only man I ever met who can strut sitting down."

 

Wolcott Gibbs, a prominent contributor to New Yorker Magazine, wrote: It's important to know Mr. Dewey very well with a view to dislike him."

 

The most well-known putdown of Dewey - who was distinguished by a closely trimmed mustache -- came from syndicated columnist Walter Winchell. He described Dewey as "the little man on a marriage cake." This was probably the most quoted insult during the campaign.

 

Goldwater

 

So many unflattering issues have been stated about Republican Sen. Barry Goldwater during his bid for the presidency he finally took be aware of them in a post-defeat interview.

 

"If I hadn't identified Barry Goldwater in 1964, and I needed to rely on the press and cartoons, I might have voted in opposition to the son-of-a-bitch myself." Nixon-Agnew

 

The Richard Nixon campaigns of 1968 and 1972 have been bitter. Texas Gov. John Connally switched from Democrat to Republican to change into Nixon's Treasury Secretary. The Nationwide Democratic Get together chairman declared: "Connally's defection to the Republicans raised the intellectual level of each parties."

 

Harry Haldeman described his function as White Home chief of workers: "I'm Nixon's son-of-a-bitch." One Democrat Congressman's reaction to this was: "He's given SOBs a foul name."

 

Sen. Eugene McCarthy drove the final nail in Vice-president Spiro Agnew's coffin by describing him as: "Nixon's Nixon."

 

A widely quoted remark of unknown origin about John Mitchell, Nixon's Attorney Basic, was: "Once you first meet him, he could appear chilly on the surface. However when you get to know him better you understand that is solely the tip of the ice-berg."

 

Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State beneath Nixon, was usually accused of pomposity. He deflected this criticism in a Time Magazine interview: "Each morning I pray to God to present me the wisdom to do the precise thing during the day. Then I ask God, 'Is there something I can do for you?"

 

Ford-Carter

 

The 1976 presidential race was hotly contested by Gerald Ford in search of reelection -- and by challenger Jimmy Carter, a single-term governor of Georgia.

 

Ford, a former football star in college, stumbled whereas exiting Air Pressure One. Former Democratic President Lyndon B. Johnson jeered that Ford "had performed too much football together with his helmet off." Ford lost narrowly.

 

Although Carter was unscathed in that campaign, he turned a butt of jokes because the economy worsened and his beer-swigging brother, Billy, entertained the media.

 

President Carter tried to sidestep the family embarrassment with lame humor: "Billy is doing his share for the economy. He has put the beer business back on its feet."

 

Billy snorted: "I've a brother who's president, one sister who rides bikes, and another who's a holy-curler preacher. That makes me the one sane one within the family."

 

Reagan-Carter

 

President Carter and his operating mate Walter Mondale misplaced their 1980 bid for reelection to Ronald Reagan and George H. Bush.

 

President Reagan's advanced age was a drumbeat issue by Democrats in the 1984 race. Mondale, the challenger, intimated in a formal debate that his opponent was too previous for the job.

 

Reagan gained a hearty snicker, and a second time period, together with his smiling reply: "I cannot make age an issue on this campaign. I am not going to use, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience."

 

Mondale later mentioned he knew at that second he had lost the election.

 

Throughout the Nixon Watergate scandal, Democrats had cherished to cite Republican Sen. Howard Baker's piercing query: "What did he know, and when did he comprehend it?"

 

During Reagan's Iran-contra affair, Dems added a pinch of humor that concurrently twitted his dilemma and his alleged senility: "What did he know, and when did he neglect it?"

 

President Reagan, the consummate actor, maintained his likeability all through two phrases with memorable humor.

 

Of his distaste for large authorities, he favored to say: "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are - I'm from the federal government, and I'm here to help."

 

He acknowledged usually: "Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, however Democrats believe each day is April 15."

 

His abortion argument-stopper was: "I've noticed that everybody who's for abortion has already been born."

 

Bush H-Dukakis

 

The 1988 marketing campaign between Vice-President George H. Bush and Gov. Michael Dukakis produced a number of memorable jibes.

 

Keynote speaker on the Democratic nationwide conference received the ball rolling with: "Now Bush is after a job he can't get appointed to. Poor George. He can not help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."

 

Ohio Senator John Glenn dubbed Bush a "carpet-bagging Texas wimp who thinks Mexican meals is refried quiche."

 

Republicans ridiculed Dukakis who was of brief stature and Greek descent. They distributed 1000's of bumper stickers boasting: "Our wimp can beat your shrimp." One other widespread GOP sticker was: "Beware Of Greeks Carrying Lifts." Veeps

 

The vice-presidential candidates in that race had been Republican Sen. Dan Quayle and Democrat Sen. Lloyd Bentsen.

 

In their formal debate, Quayle invoked the reminiscence of John F. Kennedy. Bentsen replied icily, "I knew Jack Kennedy. I served with Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a good friend of mine. You, sir, aren't any Jack Kennedy."

 

He who lives by the insult, dies by the insult. Dukakis' oversize tank helmet in a navy photograph-op was perceived to not be "presidential."

 

Bentsen's imply put-down wowed the media but turned off voters. The Democratic ticket was swamped in the election.

 

President H. Bush capped the wimp assertion after he moved into the White House. He was laughingly accused by a television comic of refusing to eat broccoli at a state dinner. Bush replied:

 

"Look! my mother made me eat broccoli. Barbara served me broccoli for 40 years. I do not like broccoli. Now I'm sixty five years previous and president of the United States. I am not going to eat any extra broccoli."

 

He apologized to broccoli farmers subsequent day, but he had demonstrated spine in a homey way that everyone understood.

 

Clinton - Bush H - Perot

 

The 1992 Clinton-Gore/Bush-Quayle campaign spawned a couple of humorous rejoinders. A popular bi-partisan riddle was: "What's the distinction between Bill Clinton, Dan Quayle and Jane Fonda?" Reply: "She went to Vietnam."

 

Clinton admitted he had tried marijuana however had not "inhaled." A well-liked late-night quip of that three-means presidential race was: "Ross Perot hasn't mentioned something, Bush hasn't carried out something, and Clinton hasn't inhaled anything."

 

At the GOP Nationwide conference that year, retiring president Reagan had another alternative to rub the noses of Democrats of their extended campaign to paint him as senile:

 

"This fellow (William Jefferson Clinton) they've nominated claims he is the new Thomas Jefferson. Properly, let me tell him one thing - I knew Thomas Jefferson. He was a good friend of mine; and, Governor, you are no Thomas Jefferson."

 

Florida Killer

 

In the game of politics, profitable assaults cloaked in humor are known as "killers." The all-time masterpiece is a legendary leaflet supposedly devised by Florida Congressman George Smathers to defeat Sen. Claude Pepper in 1950.

 

It was delivered to rural Floridians and was said to be a big factor in Smathers' victory:

 

* "Are you conscious that Claude Pepper is known all over Washington as a shameless extrovert?

* "Not solely that, however this man is reliably reported to practice nepotism along with his sister-in-law.

* "And he has a sister who once was a thespian in Greenwich Village.

* "He has a brother who was a working towards homo sapiens.

* "And he went to college where he matriculated with coeds.

* "Worst of all, it's an established indisputable fact that Mr. Pepper, before his marriage, practiced celibacy"

 

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