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Inside the depth of the calm of the night, her passion illustrates a tangled flame. Her fiery spirit is determined to seduce her infectious angst.
Beneath her tranquil demeanor, a slaughterous crusade plagues the foundation of her oppressed existence.
Looking in through the docile expression she preserves one would never judge that such a relentless conflict ruminates below the surface.
She wonders aimlessly as she neglects her torment and agony. She thrives on the rush of dysfunctional experiences. High on emotion like a junkie slamming thier next fix. Thrill resinates the walls of her veins until it finally evanesces leaving her craving more and emptier than befor.
Answer:
I really like it!
I think it's very good. However, you should try not to use "big, complicated" words unless you are absolutely sure of their meaning and use them in everyday speech. This sounds very forced. It is very well written, but try to cut down on words like angst and especially the line "seduce infectious angst" sounds forced. If the word isn't absolutely perfect for what you're writing, don't use it. Seduce doesn't really fit there, and neither does angst.
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